Ari- My Dad is pretty fabulous. In addition to instilling in me a love for communication, both verbal and written, and the delights of great food and drink in good company, my Dad was my very early role model for self-inquiry. He gave me my first journal when I was around 9 years old (It was one of those old-school black and white compostion-style notebooks.) and told me that it was a place I could say anything I wanted. (Which perhaps in retrospect meant that the dinner table was not a place where I could say anything I wanted!! Hmm... funny I never got that until now...but anyway, I still keep a journal to this day.) At one time he was involved in a Jungian group and he always been committed to and rooted in his faith. (Another great lesson from Dad.) You and Lisa McClear might both like to know that he looks a lot like Jean Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart). You, because of the crush, Lisa because she and I are both Trekkies.)
Particularly important lessons from Dad-
1. From Romans- "There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ." (And on a side note, he would tell me this frequently when, as a teenager, I did not feel so lovable and was doing my very best to prove that I could indeed separate myself from Love in all forms.)
2. "You can act your way into a new way of thinking easier than you can think yourself into a new way of acting." Direct quote.
3. Follow your Bliss but be sure you know what it is.
4. Something can be True and not accurate; understand the difference.
5. Love your mate with your whole heart. (He never said this to me but he definitely lives this.He and my mom have been married for 47 years and they still crack each other up.Now that is inspiring.)
6.Refuse the glass ceiling.
7. Do not talk down to children. Speak to them like the intelligent people they are.
There is probably more but that is it off the top of my head.
Anne and I went shopping today which was a lot of fun. I think she is writing about it now so check out her blog. More on the yoga tomorow. We had the day off from The Institute today.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Saturday, July 7, 2007
We had class last night and this morning with Geeta. She is just such an amazing teacher.
Since people so graciously commented on my last entry about "vicarious" learning and so on, I have yet another lesson to share. This morning in class we were on the floor in supta baddha konasana. (Yes, Jessie, I know, you are going to be expecting a lot more lying down in addition to the increased time devoted to savasana and its many variations!) So we are lying down with the soles of our feet together and our knees bent out to the sides and Geeta says to turn the inner groins from the inside out. I grab my outer thighs to try to turn my thighs more outward. I am also looking around at the people next to me to see if I am doing it right and before I know it she is looming over me. "How are you going to find your inner thighs by looking at someone else? Do you not know where your inner thighs are?" She grabs a hold of her inner thighs and say, "These are the inner thighs. Didn't I say to grab your inner thighs and turn them out? Your thighs-grab them and turn. Don't look around at others for your answers! Do what I say. If your teacher has not showed you something then you do not know. You only know what you have been taught. You must listen and do as I say."
And, not surprisingly, the way she meant for the action to be done was a lot more effective than what I was doing! (And, incidentally, the person I was looking at was doing it wrong also) So the seemingly simple asana lesson, when taken off the mat translates into a lesson about self-confidence, self-trust and looking within for answers, and a lesson as well about how to improve my studentship, my adhikara, all of which is more intersting and useful than simply "how to deepen a stretch".
I love that about yoga. Truly, it is a revelatory process. If I pay attention- not just to what I do but to what I fail to do and even the way I do and fail to do, I can leanr so much about myself and the ways I can grow.
Another gem from this morning's class. Geeta adjusted a woman's shoulders and then came back around and she had "lost the adjustment".
Geeta: "Why are your shoulders lifting?"
Woman: "I didn't realize what happened."
.
Since people so graciously commented on my last entry about "vicarious" learning and so on, I have yet another lesson to share. This morning in class we were on the floor in supta baddha konasana. (Yes, Jessie, I know, you are going to be expecting a lot more lying down in addition to the increased time devoted to savasana and its many variations!) So we are lying down with the soles of our feet together and our knees bent out to the sides and Geeta says to turn the inner groins from the inside out. I grab my outer thighs to try to turn my thighs more outward. I am also looking around at the people next to me to see if I am doing it right and before I know it she is looming over me. "How are you going to find your inner thighs by looking at someone else? Do you not know where your inner thighs are?" She grabs a hold of her inner thighs and say, "These are the inner thighs. Didn't I say to grab your inner thighs and turn them out? Your thighs-grab them and turn. Don't look around at others for your answers! Do what I say. If your teacher has not showed you something then you do not know. You only know what you have been taught. You must listen and do as I say."
And, not surprisingly, the way she meant for the action to be done was a lot more effective than what I was doing! (And, incidentally, the person I was looking at was doing it wrong also) So the seemingly simple asana lesson, when taken off the mat translates into a lesson about self-confidence, self-trust and looking within for answers, and a lesson as well about how to improve my studentship, my adhikara, all of which is more intersting and useful than simply "how to deepen a stretch".
I love that about yoga. Truly, it is a revelatory process. If I pay attention- not just to what I do but to what I fail to do and even the way I do and fail to do, I can leanr so much about myself and the ways I can grow.
Another gem from this morning's class. Geeta adjusted a woman's shoulders and then came back around and she had "lost the adjustment".
Geeta: "Why are your shoulders lifting?"
Woman: "I didn't realize what happened."
Geeta: "I know that. I am making you to realize. This is self-realization after all. I am making you to realize what you are doing."
.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Pranayama with Geeta
We had our first pranayama class with Geeta last night which was remarkable in so many ways. It was crowded- maybe 75 or more people in the room. (Those of you who are reading this who practice in Austin, imagine a room 2/3 the size of the big room at Westgate with 75 or more people in it.) One of the first things we did was savasana to prepare for the pranayama. As Geeta talked and worked with our posture she made a particular note of how the thighs need to release. She even gave instructions for the Westerners in the room and their tendencies and the Indians in the room and their tendencies.
Then we sat up for seated ujayi pranayama. as we were all getting settled into your posture and set-ups with the requisite props, she zeroed in on one woman's posture and asked her, "Do you always sit that way for pranayama?"
Silence.
Geeta: Do you?
More silence.
Geeta: Answer me.
Woman: Yes.
Geeta: Who taught you to sit that way? Is that really how you sit?
Woman: Yes, it is comfortable as long as I support my thighs.
Geeta calls the woman up to the stage to demonstrate how she was sitting. The woman assumes her posture on the stage. (She was pretty slumped, certainly by pranayama standards, and her legs were crossed mid -shin with her knees up about as high as her lower rib cage.)
Geeta then launched into a teaching about how comfort has very little to do with seated pranayama. "What does comfort have to do with it? See how I am sitting now? I am sitting this way because it is comfortable for my legs which are paining me lately. No matter what I am doing my legs are paining me so when I conduct classes such as this I am sitting in this position for my comfort. But even when my legs are bad I do not sit like this for pranayama." She motions to the room, "Many of you have been watching me take my pranayama in a chair for the last few months- that is because my legs are not well."
She has someone bring her a chair and she instructs the woman on the stage how to sit in the chair and the effect on her posture is immediate. Then she modifies the chair posture even further and her position improves even more. Geeta then has the woman resume her previous position on the floor. The contrast is unmistakable. Point made- we all got it. (Personally I am so grateful for the teaching and the dignity with which the woman manged herself throughout the episode and gave us an opportunity to learn from her.)
She tells us, "You must understand this as compassion in action. As a teacher it is my duty to address these faults when I see them. I know by looking at this woman she is not experiencing the beauty of pranayama. She does it because she is supposed to and because people tell her to but it alludes her. I must help her. ..." At this point it was almost as if she just started picking up speed. She said,"This is what I was talking about with the legs back in savasana. Where is that man by the column. Let me see him. " (She show the way the Indian man's legs look in savasana and adjusts him. And then,"Where is that other woman by the other column? Let me see her." This is a western woman and she shows us the differences in her legs as compared to the Indian and how to adjust so that the legs and the groins and therefore the nerves can settle.
At this point, it is obvious and somewhat palpable in the room- she has seen everyone in the room and even though 75 people were packed into the hall and there was a feeling of invisibility in that, each of us was seen.There is no where to hide when she is teaching. And as she adjusts the woman she says, "If I keep going I will make her cry. Just like the first woman who started to cry when she had to return to her original posture. And none of you have an answer about why she would cry. She kept herself together but the tears came. Did you not see? Answer me, why would she cry? None of you have an answer, do you? (At this point I feel like crying and I do not have an answer for that either!) The tears come because you taste freedom. What do you suppose it is like to be in a prison for so long and then to suddenly be released, to experience freedom and then be told you must return to the prison? Would that not make you cry? And that is why the tears came when I told her to go back to her first posture. After you feel what your ribs can do, when you feel what your diaphragm is capable of, when you feel your groins release, you know a freedom. Is is not your duty to look for that when you practice?"
I am blown away. I think we all were. The compassion and understanding she is offering in her teaching is tangible. There is not a doubt in my mind that she understands the difficulties of what she is asking of us as practitioners and students, not one doubt that she can look right through me, but not one doubt in my mind that she has the highest Possibility in mind for each of us. I kept thinking that her willingness to face herself and her situation squarely must give her this kind of vision and clarity.
Anyway- she actually suggested the chair modification to me later in the class and it really helped me. (Shock of all shocks, my groins are tight! She said to me, "You are tight in this." I nod. She continues,"I did not ask you, I am telling you. You agree?" I nod again and say, "Yes, definitely." She says, "So use more height and if that does not do it use the chair."
And so I tried more height and it helped but then I started thinking, "Did this really "do it". I have a vision of her coming back over saying to me, "You think that this is it??? You fool! Who taught you to think this way? Everyone come look....) Anyway, I got the chair and I must say it was the first time my groins have ever felt soft in seated pranayama. Ever.
Of course there is more to say as always but enough said for now.
Then we sat up for seated ujayi pranayama. as we were all getting settled into your posture and set-ups with the requisite props, she zeroed in on one woman's posture and asked her, "Do you always sit that way for pranayama?"
Silence.
Geeta: Do you?
More silence.
Geeta: Answer me.
Woman: Yes.
Geeta: Who taught you to sit that way? Is that really how you sit?
Woman: Yes, it is comfortable as long as I support my thighs.
Geeta calls the woman up to the stage to demonstrate how she was sitting. The woman assumes her posture on the stage. (She was pretty slumped, certainly by pranayama standards, and her legs were crossed mid -shin with her knees up about as high as her lower rib cage.)
Geeta then launched into a teaching about how comfort has very little to do with seated pranayama. "What does comfort have to do with it? See how I am sitting now? I am sitting this way because it is comfortable for my legs which are paining me lately. No matter what I am doing my legs are paining me so when I conduct classes such as this I am sitting in this position for my comfort. But even when my legs are bad I do not sit like this for pranayama." She motions to the room, "Many of you have been watching me take my pranayama in a chair for the last few months- that is because my legs are not well."
She has someone bring her a chair and she instructs the woman on the stage how to sit in the chair and the effect on her posture is immediate. Then she modifies the chair posture even further and her position improves even more. Geeta then has the woman resume her previous position on the floor. The contrast is unmistakable. Point made- we all got it. (Personally I am so grateful for the teaching and the dignity with which the woman manged herself throughout the episode and gave us an opportunity to learn from her.)
She tells us, "You must understand this as compassion in action. As a teacher it is my duty to address these faults when I see them. I know by looking at this woman she is not experiencing the beauty of pranayama. She does it because she is supposed to and because people tell her to but it alludes her. I must help her. ..." At this point it was almost as if she just started picking up speed. She said,"This is what I was talking about with the legs back in savasana. Where is that man by the column. Let me see him. " (She show the way the Indian man's legs look in savasana and adjusts him. And then,"Where is that other woman by the other column? Let me see her." This is a western woman and she shows us the differences in her legs as compared to the Indian and how to adjust so that the legs and the groins and therefore the nerves can settle.
At this point, it is obvious and somewhat palpable in the room- she has seen everyone in the room and even though 75 people were packed into the hall and there was a feeling of invisibility in that, each of us was seen.There is no where to hide when she is teaching. And as she adjusts the woman she says, "If I keep going I will make her cry. Just like the first woman who started to cry when she had to return to her original posture. And none of you have an answer about why she would cry. She kept herself together but the tears came. Did you not see? Answer me, why would she cry? None of you have an answer, do you? (At this point I feel like crying and I do not have an answer for that either!) The tears come because you taste freedom. What do you suppose it is like to be in a prison for so long and then to suddenly be released, to experience freedom and then be told you must return to the prison? Would that not make you cry? And that is why the tears came when I told her to go back to her first posture. After you feel what your ribs can do, when you feel what your diaphragm is capable of, when you feel your groins release, you know a freedom. Is is not your duty to look for that when you practice?"
I am blown away. I think we all were. The compassion and understanding she is offering in her teaching is tangible. There is not a doubt in my mind that she understands the difficulties of what she is asking of us as practitioners and students, not one doubt that she can look right through me, but not one doubt in my mind that she has the highest Possibility in mind for each of us. I kept thinking that her willingness to face herself and her situation squarely must give her this kind of vision and clarity.
Anyway- she actually suggested the chair modification to me later in the class and it really helped me. (Shock of all shocks, my groins are tight! She said to me, "You are tight in this." I nod. She continues,"I did not ask you, I am telling you. You agree?" I nod again and say, "Yes, definitely." She says, "So use more height and if that does not do it use the chair."
And so I tried more height and it helped but then I started thinking, "Did this really "do it". I have a vision of her coming back over saying to me, "You think that this is it??? You fool! Who taught you to think this way? Everyone come look....) Anyway, I got the chair and I must say it was the first time my groins have ever felt soft in seated pranayama. Ever.
Of course there is more to say as always but enough said for now.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Lesson
Anne and I were standing in the waiting area this morning waiting for the practice room to be opened for practice. I realized that I was standing in front of a painting of Mr. Iyengar and I wondered if it was disrespectful to have my back to the Guru's picture. I noticed that my "friend" Chandru was in his office and I stepped in to ask him about this matter of protocol.
He said the main thing to know at the Institute is what each area is used for. "For instance," he said, "stairs are for going up and down, not for standing still on. Hallways and doorways are for passage, not for standing.The dressing room is for changing so please do not change your clothes in the hall or in the practice area, even if it is just putting pants on over your yoga clothes. But the waiting area, it is for waiting and so that is where you should wait." He also said that it is a religious custom in the temples not to turn your back to the Guru or to the icons but that The Institute is not a temple and so it is no problem.
It really is a great principle and reminds me of an ongoing teaching that Lee gives.He has said many times that as a spiritual practitioners, or those who aspire to be such, one thing we are hoping to be able to do is to know in any given moment what is truly wanted and needed and then to respond accordingly. This is really what it means to serve- to provide what is wanted and needed. We do sadhana to unravel our projections and interpretations and biases so we can see what is Needed and Wanted not just what we prefer or wish. And then also our ongoing efforts of refining ourselves help us to "get out of our own way" in order to respond optimally even if we do not feel like it in the moment.
So the teaching is as esoteric as it is practical and life will always give us clues if we are paying attention. So once again, it comes back to that most precious commodity- attention.
I would write more but I am bit brain dead from facing my mortality repeatedly out on the streets of Pune this afternoon. Tonight we have a pranayama class. That should be excellent.
He said the main thing to know at the Institute is what each area is used for. "For instance," he said, "stairs are for going up and down, not for standing still on. Hallways and doorways are for passage, not for standing.The dressing room is for changing so please do not change your clothes in the hall or in the practice area, even if it is just putting pants on over your yoga clothes. But the waiting area, it is for waiting and so that is where you should wait." He also said that it is a religious custom in the temples not to turn your back to the Guru or to the icons but that The Institute is not a temple and so it is no problem.
It really is a great principle and reminds me of an ongoing teaching that Lee gives.He has said many times that as a spiritual practitioners, or those who aspire to be such, one thing we are hoping to be able to do is to know in any given moment what is truly wanted and needed and then to respond accordingly. This is really what it means to serve- to provide what is wanted and needed. We do sadhana to unravel our projections and interpretations and biases so we can see what is Needed and Wanted not just what we prefer or wish. And then also our ongoing efforts of refining ourselves help us to "get out of our own way" in order to respond optimally even if we do not feel like it in the moment.
So the teaching is as esoteric as it is practical and life will always give us clues if we are paying attention. So once again, it comes back to that most precious commodity- attention.
I would write more but I am bit brain dead from facing my mortality repeatedly out on the streets of Pune this afternoon. Tonight we have a pranayama class. That should be excellent.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Breath
We had class with Prashant last night. Capturing that experience is going to take a it longer than I have time for today, I fear. It was more of a lecture than an asana class, but it was inspiring none-the-less. His theme was really a call to entering into a deeper relationship with asana than simply doing the poses by rote. He suggested that we enter into our practice each time with what he called a diagnostic mind. We nee dot know: are we tired? are we tired physically? are we tired mentally? are these conditions justified or are they more imagined? Are we sharp? are we dull? are we excited. He said that even in a class setting we need to take the time to know our state. To know and understand our starting point.
Slowly, methodically he took us through a process of using the breath to diagnose one's pose and then to unify the body with the mind and the breath in diagnosis, treatment and execution.
At a certain point I realized that he was not going to come in and really pick our poses apart, that is wasn't going to be that kind of class and so I just relaxed, folowed his instructions and looked around inside my pose as best I could. I found the process captivating and inspiring. This angle on the breath is new to me. I have never heard this described quite this way.He said at each stage of the breath we might look at one part of the pose- are the beginning of the inhale, during the inhale, at the end of the inhale and so with the exhale. And while he described the process linearly and technically, it became clear to me that essentailly this is not a linear process. That as one is "diagnosing" they are really shining the light of awareness on their pose- interiorly and exteriorly- and that which is observed cannot remain the same and so even in diagnosis you begin treatment.
So again, what he was pointing to is kind of big to get down in a paragraph. But really he was on fire with inviting us to move into a relationship with our asana beyond, "do this, do that, do not do this, do not do that," etc. He said that as beginners "learning all of the points" is necessary and fine but as experienced practitioners one should want more and cultivate something deeper.
We had the Ladies Class with Geeta this morning but I do not have time to write about that. Back to the Institute for practice.
Slowly, methodically he took us through a process of using the breath to diagnose one's pose and then to unify the body with the mind and the breath in diagnosis, treatment and execution.
At a certain point I realized that he was not going to come in and really pick our poses apart, that is wasn't going to be that kind of class and so I just relaxed, folowed his instructions and looked around inside my pose as best I could. I found the process captivating and inspiring. This angle on the breath is new to me. I have never heard this described quite this way.He said at each stage of the breath we might look at one part of the pose- are the beginning of the inhale, during the inhale, at the end of the inhale and so with the exhale. And while he described the process linearly and technically, it became clear to me that essentailly this is not a linear process. That as one is "diagnosing" they are really shining the light of awareness on their pose- interiorly and exteriorly- and that which is observed cannot remain the same and so even in diagnosis you begin treatment.
So again, what he was pointing to is kind of big to get down in a paragraph. But really he was on fire with inviting us to move into a relationship with our asana beyond, "do this, do that, do not do this, do not do that," etc. He said that as beginners "learning all of the points" is necessary and fine but as experienced practitioners one should want more and cultivate something deeper.
We had the Ladies Class with Geeta this morning but I do not have time to write about that. Back to the Institute for practice.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Happy Birthday Prashant!
Sunday afternoon around 4pm India time Anne and I, despite our best efforts, could not stay awake. We had hoped to make it to bedtime and help ourselves out with the jet lag but we could not remain in an upright position so we both laid down and went to sleep. Both of us slept remarkably well until midnight when we were both wide awake! I managed to go back to sleep about 3 am and then we were up at 7 to get ready for the day.
After a cup of tea and a light Lara Bar breakfast we walked to the Institute. (The rain had actually stopped for the ten minutes it took us to walk there this morning.) People were gathering in the entryway/foyer and so we met some more people. Dean Lerner, a senior teacher that Anne has studied with over the years is here this month for classes and he gave us some tips on how not to embarrass ourselves, which was generous and much appreciated. As we were waiting to go upstairs for practice Mr. Iyengar walked through the door and proceeded into the main area. So there he was, in his yoga whites, with his wild mane of hair, his famous bushy eyebrows and his regal bearing and presence. It is customary upon seeing him in the morning (or Prashant or Geeta) to pranam and touch their feet if one is inclined or simply to greet them with one's hands in prayer and say, "Namaskar." (I learned that "Namaskar" is more reverential than "Namaste". Who knew?)
As we made our way upstairs to the practice hall, people were coming down the stairs saying, "Not yet." Turns out it was Prashant's birthday and there would be a brief celebration. Anne and I, in our attempt to get out of the way walked all the way into the foyer area which actually put us right in the front row as close up to Prashant as one could be. Chandru (who seems to be looking out for us since we are friends of Randy Just who he affectionately calls Arnold - referring to Randy's physique and presence being like Arnold Schwarzenegger) kept motioning for us to get closer up.
This is actually another line of consideration because the who do you know?, who do you study with? thing is very important here. This kind of relates back to my previous entry in thinking about relationship. Randy helps us with our taxi arrangements from Mumbai and helped us get our flat arranged. And we were graciously accommodated each time as "Randy's friends." In the interview process at The Institute we were enthusiastically welcomed after Pandu learned that we study with Mary and Eddy. Chandru seems to have taken an interest in us because of Randy again. And so it is clear at every turn that I am not here alone or because of anything I have personally done. I exist here as part of a community of support that has helped this opportunity happen for me. This is a lovely and yet humbling experience to be living in the middle of. Lee once talked about community as a soup. He said, "Think of a bay leaf. Alone, it is just a dried up leaf but when you put it in a soup the flavor it brings to the soup is quite remarkable. But really, the bay leaf has no purpose outside of the context of the soup."
Prashant said it was his day of embarrassment for it is embarrassing to him to have so much attention. Different people stood up to say thanks and give a few words of praise and honor. What stood out for me from the morning was his very natural sense of humility and dedication to turning people to the practice, to themselves and to the teachings, not to him- even on a day that was to honor him.
For instance one woman said, "every morning many of us start our day in Prashant's class and from that moment we are "Prashant-ified"... At the end of her talk he was very insistent that it is not nor ever has it been his desire that anyone ever be Prasahnt-ified. His desire, he explained, is that people become "Self-ified." He said, "I am not interested in a following, I am not interested in assembling a group around me, I am interested in turning you to the practice of yoga."
Another woman stood up and led a chant that was a chant about The Guru. Her voice was beautiful as was her intention and mood in her offering. After the chant was finished he said, "I want to be very clear about something. I am not qualified to be a guru... Never in this lifetime will I have that qualification. Nor are you qualified to be sishyas- disciples... It is important that we understand what each of us are and what our limitations are and what we can and cannot do together. What I am qualified to do is to be a teacher that can help you become a yoga vdyarti- a seeker of the wisdom of yoga. I am qualified to help turn you to the teachings of the subject of yoga so that you can understand this subject more fully and hopefully at some point, that understanding will prepare you to become a sishya. And once you are actually prepared to be a disciple, then you will be given a guru.The Guru is a function," he explained, "and so when we sing that chant it is praising a function called the Guru, not a person and certainly not me."
It was inspiring to see real humility and also to see that it must be a full time job to dismantle the projections that come along with his station and position.He then handed out some sweets, which were fabulous and then we went to the hall to practice.
Prashant's celebration really set a nice tone for the day. I am thinking a lot about the fact that I have come half way around the world (literally) to get help with my practice. And yet I watch the many ways it is hard to just remember that simple fact. My internal reality is more concerned with "not making mistakes" than it is with "getting help". This may sound like nothing but I think contextually these mindsets are worlds apart from one another. Prahsant's talk was a great reminder about why I have come this far to study. I am here- as is everyone else who has come- to get training in how to be one who is seeking the truth of yoga. We have travelled far, at great expense, to get help along the Way. The task is simply to avail myself of the help as it comes, in the many ways it may come and to use it to help me learn, grow and serve.
Being in the hall practicing was great. Mr. Iyengar was there and so was Geeta. How inspiring to see these luminaries of yoga simply roll out their sticky mats and practice. Really, what a teaching. For we are never exempt from that. At no point do we graduate from practice for that is what a seeker of the truth of yoga does- practice. Practice yields the ability to practice and so on like that.
I was going to post all of that yesterday but on my final scan, but the power went out and so it is actually the following day. We had class with Geeta last night which was awesome. Or at least the parts of the class I could understand were awesome. (Geeta has a very good command of English but a very strong accent.) What is kind of weird is how her class was so different from most Iyengar Yoga classes I have attended over the years. She did only two, very short demos (which she seemd reluctant to do at all and said she did not want to waste time)and there was very little start and stop. She was exacting, demanding, and yet it was very easy to feel her dedication and compassion. I got lots of new insights about some very basic poses and in general as great as it was, there was also an ordinariness to it as well. I found it a great relief to just fainlly be in class, doing what I love- learning and practicing yoga.
The Institute in many ways is quite ordinary. I do not mean that to disregard it in any way but it is very clearly a school of yoga. It is very humble, very simple and yet permeatated by such a strong legacy and intention that there is a transmission to be had simply by being there- that much is certain. But is is night and day from American yoga. There is no mood music, not one fancy thing, not one thing to indulge your comfort, not even one corner of quiet.
So certainly there is more to write on all of this but I want to get this posted before the power flickers and I have to wait another 24 hours! Oh- also keep reading Anne's blog for her insights and experiences on the trip. www.theyogaplacewaco.blogspot.com
After a cup of tea and a light Lara Bar breakfast we walked to the Institute. (The rain had actually stopped for the ten minutes it took us to walk there this morning.) People were gathering in the entryway/foyer and so we met some more people. Dean Lerner, a senior teacher that Anne has studied with over the years is here this month for classes and he gave us some tips on how not to embarrass ourselves, which was generous and much appreciated. As we were waiting to go upstairs for practice Mr. Iyengar walked through the door and proceeded into the main area. So there he was, in his yoga whites, with his wild mane of hair, his famous bushy eyebrows and his regal bearing and presence. It is customary upon seeing him in the morning (or Prashant or Geeta) to pranam and touch their feet if one is inclined or simply to greet them with one's hands in prayer and say, "Namaskar." (I learned that "Namaskar" is more reverential than "Namaste". Who knew?)
As we made our way upstairs to the practice hall, people were coming down the stairs saying, "Not yet." Turns out it was Prashant's birthday and there would be a brief celebration. Anne and I, in our attempt to get out of the way walked all the way into the foyer area which actually put us right in the front row as close up to Prashant as one could be. Chandru (who seems to be looking out for us since we are friends of Randy Just who he affectionately calls Arnold - referring to Randy's physique and presence being like Arnold Schwarzenegger) kept motioning for us to get closer up.
This is actually another line of consideration because the who do you know?, who do you study with? thing is very important here. This kind of relates back to my previous entry in thinking about relationship. Randy helps us with our taxi arrangements from Mumbai and helped us get our flat arranged. And we were graciously accommodated each time as "Randy's friends." In the interview process at The Institute we were enthusiastically welcomed after Pandu learned that we study with Mary and Eddy. Chandru seems to have taken an interest in us because of Randy again. And so it is clear at every turn that I am not here alone or because of anything I have personally done. I exist here as part of a community of support that has helped this opportunity happen for me. This is a lovely and yet humbling experience to be living in the middle of. Lee once talked about community as a soup. He said, "Think of a bay leaf. Alone, it is just a dried up leaf but when you put it in a soup the flavor it brings to the soup is quite remarkable. But really, the bay leaf has no purpose outside of the context of the soup."
Prashant said it was his day of embarrassment for it is embarrassing to him to have so much attention. Different people stood up to say thanks and give a few words of praise and honor. What stood out for me from the morning was his very natural sense of humility and dedication to turning people to the practice, to themselves and to the teachings, not to him- even on a day that was to honor him.
For instance one woman said, "every morning many of us start our day in Prashant's class and from that moment we are "Prashant-ified"... At the end of her talk he was very insistent that it is not nor ever has it been his desire that anyone ever be Prasahnt-ified. His desire, he explained, is that people become "Self-ified." He said, "I am not interested in a following, I am not interested in assembling a group around me, I am interested in turning you to the practice of yoga."
Another woman stood up and led a chant that was a chant about The Guru. Her voice was beautiful as was her intention and mood in her offering. After the chant was finished he said, "I want to be very clear about something. I am not qualified to be a guru... Never in this lifetime will I have that qualification. Nor are you qualified to be sishyas- disciples... It is important that we understand what each of us are and what our limitations are and what we can and cannot do together. What I am qualified to do is to be a teacher that can help you become a yoga vdyarti- a seeker of the wisdom of yoga. I am qualified to help turn you to the teachings of the subject of yoga so that you can understand this subject more fully and hopefully at some point, that understanding will prepare you to become a sishya. And once you are actually prepared to be a disciple, then you will be given a guru.The Guru is a function," he explained, "and so when we sing that chant it is praising a function called the Guru, not a person and certainly not me."
It was inspiring to see real humility and also to see that it must be a full time job to dismantle the projections that come along with his station and position.He then handed out some sweets, which were fabulous and then we went to the hall to practice.
Prashant's celebration really set a nice tone for the day. I am thinking a lot about the fact that I have come half way around the world (literally) to get help with my practice. And yet I watch the many ways it is hard to just remember that simple fact. My internal reality is more concerned with "not making mistakes" than it is with "getting help". This may sound like nothing but I think contextually these mindsets are worlds apart from one another. Prahsant's talk was a great reminder about why I have come this far to study. I am here- as is everyone else who has come- to get training in how to be one who is seeking the truth of yoga. We have travelled far, at great expense, to get help along the Way. The task is simply to avail myself of the help as it comes, in the many ways it may come and to use it to help me learn, grow and serve.
Being in the hall practicing was great. Mr. Iyengar was there and so was Geeta. How inspiring to see these luminaries of yoga simply roll out their sticky mats and practice. Really, what a teaching. For we are never exempt from that. At no point do we graduate from practice for that is what a seeker of the truth of yoga does- practice. Practice yields the ability to practice and so on like that.
I was going to post all of that yesterday but on my final scan, but the power went out and so it is actually the following day. We had class with Geeta last night which was awesome. Or at least the parts of the class I could understand were awesome. (Geeta has a very good command of English but a very strong accent.) What is kind of weird is how her class was so different from most Iyengar Yoga classes I have attended over the years. She did only two, very short demos (which she seemd reluctant to do at all and said she did not want to waste time)and there was very little start and stop. She was exacting, demanding, and yet it was very easy to feel her dedication and compassion. I got lots of new insights about some very basic poses and in general as great as it was, there was also an ordinariness to it as well. I found it a great relief to just fainlly be in class, doing what I love- learning and practicing yoga.
The Institute in many ways is quite ordinary. I do not mean that to disregard it in any way but it is very clearly a school of yoga. It is very humble, very simple and yet permeatated by such a strong legacy and intention that there is a transmission to be had simply by being there- that much is certain. But is is night and day from American yoga. There is no mood music, not one fancy thing, not one thing to indulge your comfort, not even one corner of quiet.
So certainly there is more to write on all of this but I want to get this posted before the power flickers and I have to wait another 24 hours! Oh- also keep reading Anne's blog for her insights and experiences on the trip. www.theyogaplacewaco.blogspot.com
Sunday, July 1, 2007
In Pune
So we are actually here. I arrived in the hotel in Mumbai 33 hours and 21 minutes after leaving Georgia. Anne and I met up at DFW right at security, had lunch, bought our many bottles of water and got on the plane. Other than being long, the travels were uneventful. We both managed to sleep some along the way.
Once in Mumbai, we got to the hotel, drank lots of bottled water, did some asana to ground ourselves and help my feet not be so swollen (they looked like little sausages!) and then went to sleep. Our taxi came the next day and took us to Pune.
Normally, this is four hour drive but given that it is monsoon season and there were actually floods in Mumbai, it took closer to 5 hours. I have a good pic of the floods but suffice it to say that I was glad we were in a Hummer.
We checked into our hotel for the night and then walked to The Institute where we were able to register for class. It was a bit daunting- that whole process. When one walks into the compound there are two buildings. I thought that the one that looked like it had a formal entrance was the office and I say to Anne, "Maybe that is the office."
Luckily enough, I catch the eye of a man nearby who points me in the other direction. I say luckily, because I think what I thought was the office was actually the Iyengar's home! (Now that would not be how I would like to make my first appearance... walking in, uninvited to The Guru's house...) I did actually see his feet and the back of his head from the courtyard where we were. So that was my first darshan, so to speak.
So we actually go through the correct door... (this is beginning to sound like some weird game show- does the silly, white girl know which door to go through? One door leads to certain humiliation, one door leads to yogic knowledge...which one will she pick? one- she will be forever banned from the Insitute for a radical breach of prtocol, two she will get her heart's desire...anyway.) .. and there is a lineup of Indian men and women staring at us. We look around for a sign that might say "office this way" and see none and so we ask, "Is this where we register?" Someone leads us to the office and we get through the process reasonably unscathed.
There is some paperwork, the visa and passport copies, and so on and an interview- How long have you been practicing yoga? Who are your teachers? ( Pandu gave a big smile when we finally said "Mary Obendorfer and Eddie Marks") He gave us our class schedule. We are assigned 6 classes a week and 6 practice sessions each week. For the most part, we have practice every morning from 9-12 and class every evening from 6-8. Wednesdays are a bit different because the Ladies Class is in the morning so we have practice that afternoon.
We had a really yummy meal that night and went to bed only to wake up at 4 this morning as our circadian rhythms determined. After reading, talking and so on, Anne and I practiced asana and then around 8:00 we went down for tea and breakfast on the lobby. We met a lot of people who are in Pune to go to the Institute this morning. Pretty much any white person you see is here for the yoga. and even though momentary bits of shyness hit me where I feel awkward and so forth, most people seem very happy when you reach out a hand and introduce yourself. I think we are all just a tad bit freaked out and scared.
I called home today to let Kelly and my parents know that we are safe. It sure was good to hear their voices. (This may be a long month!) When we were walking around yesterday Anne said, "Well, the ordeal of getting here definitely makes me think that next time we should stay for longer." And I replied, "Yes, but we have no idea yet about the ordeal of being here!"
We found our way to our flat- which is soooo nice, got settled (It is going to cost about 20 dollars for us to have our meals cooked for us every day! How can this be?) and then went back to the place we had dinner for lunch. It is pouring rain- My pants are completely soaked from the walk to the Internet cafe where I am now writing.
In general, we have been pretty much dealing with the logistics of getting here and figuring out where the hell we are supposed to go and so on that I haven't had a lot of time for introspection or deep insight but here are a few things on my mind:
1. I am very happy to be here with my sister. (I realized at diner that for over 10 years now Anne and I have been going to yoga workshops and eating Indian food after class together as part of our sisterly activities. This is certainly an upscale from that but to see this trip within the context of all the trips we have made over the years to learn yoga, is kind of a wild thing to ponder.) In general, I think that one should always have a close friend along when travelling to a place like India. I would hate to be doing this alone.
2. Which leads me to the second thing that India seems to demand- relationship. One must get out of any shell that they have to be able to function here. Even if the shell is just an inner attitude, a resistance to vulnerability, a reticence to ask for help, a fear of looking stupid or uninformed, one simply cannot remain in isolation here and function. It is impossible to do anything without asking for help and when one allows others to help, the insanity of "the shell" and its many manifestations is instantly revealed. This is a good thing, I think. Not an easy thing, but good.
So classes start tomorrow. I will update when I can. Thanks for reading and posting some. It is fun to know that people are reading and to feel the support from the other side of the world.
Once in Mumbai, we got to the hotel, drank lots of bottled water, did some asana to ground ourselves and help my feet not be so swollen (they looked like little sausages!) and then went to sleep. Our taxi came the next day and took us to Pune.
Normally, this is four hour drive but given that it is monsoon season and there were actually floods in Mumbai, it took closer to 5 hours. I have a good pic of the floods but suffice it to say that I was glad we were in a Hummer.
We checked into our hotel for the night and then walked to The Institute where we were able to register for class. It was a bit daunting- that whole process. When one walks into the compound there are two buildings. I thought that the one that looked like it had a formal entrance was the office and I say to Anne, "Maybe that is the office."
Luckily enough, I catch the eye of a man nearby who points me in the other direction. I say luckily, because I think what I thought was the office was actually the Iyengar's home! (Now that would not be how I would like to make my first appearance... walking in, uninvited to The Guru's house...) I did actually see his feet and the back of his head from the courtyard where we were. So that was my first darshan, so to speak.
So we actually go through the correct door... (this is beginning to sound like some weird game show- does the silly, white girl know which door to go through? One door leads to certain humiliation, one door leads to yogic knowledge...which one will she pick? one- she will be forever banned from the Insitute for a radical breach of prtocol, two she will get her heart's desire...anyway.) .. and there is a lineup of Indian men and women staring at us. We look around for a sign that might say "office this way" and see none and so we ask, "Is this where we register?" Someone leads us to the office and we get through the process reasonably unscathed.
There is some paperwork, the visa and passport copies, and so on and an interview- How long have you been practicing yoga? Who are your teachers? ( Pandu gave a big smile when we finally said "Mary Obendorfer and Eddie Marks") He gave us our class schedule. We are assigned 6 classes a week and 6 practice sessions each week. For the most part, we have practice every morning from 9-12 and class every evening from 6-8. Wednesdays are a bit different because the Ladies Class is in the morning so we have practice that afternoon.
We had a really yummy meal that night and went to bed only to wake up at 4 this morning as our circadian rhythms determined. After reading, talking and so on, Anne and I practiced asana and then around 8:00 we went down for tea and breakfast on the lobby. We met a lot of people who are in Pune to go to the Institute this morning. Pretty much any white person you see is here for the yoga. and even though momentary bits of shyness hit me where I feel awkward and so forth, most people seem very happy when you reach out a hand and introduce yourself. I think we are all just a tad bit freaked out and scared.
I called home today to let Kelly and my parents know that we are safe. It sure was good to hear their voices. (This may be a long month!) When we were walking around yesterday Anne said, "Well, the ordeal of getting here definitely makes me think that next time we should stay for longer." And I replied, "Yes, but we have no idea yet about the ordeal of being here!"
We found our way to our flat- which is soooo nice, got settled (It is going to cost about 20 dollars for us to have our meals cooked for us every day! How can this be?) and then went back to the place we had dinner for lunch. It is pouring rain- My pants are completely soaked from the walk to the Internet cafe where I am now writing.
In general, we have been pretty much dealing with the logistics of getting here and figuring out where the hell we are supposed to go and so on that I haven't had a lot of time for introspection or deep insight but here are a few things on my mind:
1. I am very happy to be here with my sister. (I realized at diner that for over 10 years now Anne and I have been going to yoga workshops and eating Indian food after class together as part of our sisterly activities. This is certainly an upscale from that but to see this trip within the context of all the trips we have made over the years to learn yoga, is kind of a wild thing to ponder.) In general, I think that one should always have a close friend along when travelling to a place like India. I would hate to be doing this alone.
2. Which leads me to the second thing that India seems to demand- relationship. One must get out of any shell that they have to be able to function here. Even if the shell is just an inner attitude, a resistance to vulnerability, a reticence to ask for help, a fear of looking stupid or uninformed, one simply cannot remain in isolation here and function. It is impossible to do anything without asking for help and when one allows others to help, the insanity of "the shell" and its many manifestations is instantly revealed. This is a good thing, I think. Not an easy thing, but good.
So classes start tomorrow. I will update when I can. Thanks for reading and posting some. It is fun to know that people are reading and to feel the support from the other side of the world.
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