Sharon and Ari, thanks so much for you thoughtful comments on studentship, learning environments and what helps us do our best. Short answer is I am not sure. Long answer follows:
I wonder a lot about those themes myself. (Pretty much constantly, actually.) Being here there is certainly a lot of fuel for self-observation in these areas. First, I must say that it is great and challenging to see a completely different educational model at work and a completely different cultural model involved. Yoga, not just in India but at The Iyengar Yoga Institute, is a completely different ball game than it is in the average American yoga studio. I think the difference is partly cultural, partly because of the educational model, partly because of what the Indian student is expecting from the experience vs. what the American student is expecting.partly because of something I cannot name and would just call Context. It is hard to explain exactly but things are different in a lot of ways.
Now, having said that, please do not think for one moment I am at all discounting one or the other. There is a lot of American Yoga bashing here in India but you know and I know that we love our practice and that for many of us yoga is really the glue that holds our life together. So- to me that is not at question at all.
Okay, so one more thing that I want to be clear about is that any feelings I have about the way things are taught are more about the way this particular model challenges my particular psychology and learning style and preferences, not a commentary on the efficacy of their method or on the right and wrong of either model.
To continue- When I was in graduate school I studied education and we did this one segment on "brain-based learning." These researchers concluded that people learn best, that the brain is actually most able to integrate information and learn, in an atmosphere of "relaxed alertness."
Now, how different people are brought to this state varies, right? An overly "relaxed" person would need some fire and demand to come to the alert state. The very "alert" types will need help with the relaxation side of the formula. In general, I am more of the overly alert type and this atmosphere tends to exacerbate that tendency within me. It is hard for me to relax when I am on guard for a correction that will come with such force. But in a lot ways, that tendency is mostly neurosis and definitely worth overcoming.
And if I cannot overcome this tendency entirely then it is at least worth working with so that I can put a little distance between me and my habitual response to forceful corrections or criticism.Just because something is my tendency, does that mean it is a life sentence? After all, this is a practice of refining myself. And really, in terms of what happens in a yoga class, the stakes are not as high as my neurosis tells me they are. What is the worst that happens? I am embarrassed and feel stupid in front of a large group of people or my feelings get hurt. These are not horrible, insurmountable outcomes in the big picture.)
So, I am definitely finding that aspect difficult and yet worth working with. Definitely, I am growing more comfortable here and that helps- just getting a sense of protocols and so on. But also, it is so obvious to watch Geeta work with us that behind her force is the force of love and her very definite commitment to helping people grow and change and progress in their practices. And this has been such a delightful surprise. Over the years that I have been exposed to Iyengar Yoga I have heard stories about the harsh teaching style of the Iyengars and the forceful manner in which things are done here. What is so interesting is that very little has ever been said about this force of compassion she exudes. It is a tragedy that this is secondarily communicated (evidently even by me in this blog) or that it gets lost in the whirlwind of psychology and emotion that gets stirred up and talked about.
One thing that I am grateful for is that I have had so much help from John Friend and from my kula-mates in Anusara Yoga. I remarked to Anne that I do not think I would have made it this long practicing yoga without the encouragement he gave me and continues to give me. So much in this school is about what is going wrong and what is not happening and where the mistakes are. That is just their way. The insights are accurate and it is absolutely fascinating to explore the endless ways to refine a posture and to improve one's self in relationship to the posture. However, my practice became joyful when John showed me what was going right, what was working, how my efforts were sacred offerings and that the process itself was fun. So for me, I wouldn't have stayed on my mat without the fun part.
So here, class is not fun exactly but it is a super-duper charge of discipline and provides some excellent fuel to work hard and some fabulous inspiration about the many layers of the self we are working with in asana and so on. And the input is so helpful. I am happy to be learning here and even happy to be facing the learning challenges. Even times I have gone to workshops where I was criticized a lot, it made me better. It helped me clarify how I want to teach and how I want to practice and so on. So nothing is wasted.
Oh-also--One time I read something Mr. Iyengar wrote about teaching that is worth adding to the discussion on studentship. He said that as a yoga teacher you can teach people or you can teach the subject. In the beginning one must teach people. But once the student is mature and once the student-teacher relationship progresses, then the teacher is free to teach the subject. At this point the teacher is freed up to really transmit what he knows and the depth of the subject. So really, in this context, studentship involves making oneself ready to learn the subject however it is being taught and not demanding that the teacher teach for our idiosyncrasies, preferences and neurotic tendencies.
Certainly, a case can be made that a good teacher can reach a variety of students and that is also true but then that teacher is consumed with reaching the students when a good student is consumed with being fertile soil for the Teaching. Well, it is a big task, obviously. Thank goodness that according to the yoga traditions we have more than one lifetime to work on it.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Studentship
Things to consider from Prashant's Tuesday night class:
"Most of you here have a great inspiration to do. All of you have a great inspiration to teach. But very few of you have a great inspiration to learn..." (I defintely get his point but I was thinking, "I have travelled around the world for the sake of learning... Yes, a bit defensive, I suppose! Nothing new there. But like I said, I get his point becasue no matter how good/sincere of a student I am or any of us is, there are always new depths to plump, more skill to develop, more receptivity to cultivate, new levels to explore and so on. Okay, okay, I get it. I will stop whining now.)
"So many of you say, "I must have the best teacher in the world, I must go to the very best teacher," never once considering that you yourself are not the best student in the world."
He talked a lot about how teaching and doing and learning are related to one anohter. But he very generously said that even if we are not good learners, good students or good do-ers, we might actually be able to be great teachers. He said that one who has difficulty learning or doing often makes a great teacher because such people are intimately acquainted with the ways the endeavor can go wrong. One who has natural aptitude may not actually be such a great teacher because they will not understand the pitfalls and the problems that arise in the learning process. (IT hought this was quite generous. My mom always said the best person to learn math from was someone who had a lot of trouble learning math. Mommy-ji, with the great yogic wisdom way back when!)
He also said that whether or not we formally teach classes, each of us is our own teacher in yoga and we should cultivate that learning receptivity when we practice so that our practice is a learning endeavor not just a doing, or a performance-based endeavor.
This has actually been such a nice thing about being here for so long and the way the time here is structured. Every day except Sunday we have a 2-hour class and every day we have a designated time for practice. Having the the time and space in my life to learn in a class and also to practice what was taught so soon after the class has been awesome.So often I have gone to workshops where we have 15 hours of asana instruction in 2 1/2 days and while it is a fabulous download of information and inspiration, it is very difficult to really integrate it or process it in manageable chunks. I think the workshop format also creates a mentality of "acquisition mind"- we just want more and more info, new details and new tricks and we haven't really mined the things we already know for their gold.
Not to say that I have mined these classes yet either (I actually feel that there has been a year's worth of material already and we are still in week two) but today I did the fabulous forward bend sequence that Geeta taught on Monday for the second time in practice. So I did it in class and then twice now in practice and today I began to really experience what previously had just been words or descriptions or suggestions. Anyway, it is such a treat to have a month of my life carved out where there is very little to do but focus on matters of yoga and practice (And write a blog, of course!) It is not just time either, it is mental space and the environment we are in that is helping.
As far as gems from Geeta's class, what I remember most is that she spoke about the same themes of studentship. She said that as students we only seem able to do what she is saying if we have been taught it before. If it is not familiar to us we doubt her and do not just follow what she is saying. She says that nobody seems to understand the reasons behind the forms of Iyengar Yoga. and that Iyengar Yoga has just become, "everybody get a block, a strap and and a bloster" rather than teachers and students really understanding that the props are used for specific reasons for specific people and are not intended to yield a one-size fits all approach.(I am paraphrasing here.)
So it is kind of interesting as I am kind of an Iyengar Yoga imposter here and not really a true-believer although I have maintained Anusara Yoga anonymity and plan to) so I am not taking alot of that stuff personally. But really, I do know a fair amount about the Iyengar Yoga certification process and what is asked of the applicants. Also I am involved in a process of certifying people in Anusara Yoga and also in the YogaYoga teacher training program and the parallels and pitfalls are there in any system. It seems within this school that "the method" is running the risk of squashing the spirit of the tradition. (Kind of like that bumper sticker, Lord, save me from your followers.)
I don't really know that there is a real solution outside of a Real Solution, meaning that people must embody the teachings and have something Real to share or teaching yoga (in any tradition) will forever remain a scripted or parroted kind of thing. (She was complaining that everyone teaches Iyenagar Yoga like there is a script when nothing is further from the truth. I laughed thinking how as a teacher traniner I give a script all the time and how John gave me a script to learn with and how Iyengar teachers I studied also gave a script in teacher training!) But let's be very clear also that I mean no disrespect to this great tradition and its many talented teachers from whom I have learned a lot, in pondering these themes here. I mean, when BKS Iyengar is the bar of excellence, sure, most people efforts won't measure up. I think we all have teachers in a variety of disciplines that we feel that way about.(And incidently, the scripts really helped me!)
Teaching yoga is really a fabulously daunting task of representing something much bigger than we are and pointing people to It. So I wonder if, instead of asking are we as good as the master, can we ask, is there is a movement in my practice, in my teaching and in my students toward the spirit of the tradition? Is my teaching pointing people to the practice, to the source of the lineage I represent, to the Truth within themselves? And given that that is even harder than handing out apporpriate props and making adjustments, I wonder if we could be doing well and still not be doing well enough? Quite probably.
Philosophy professor Douglas Brooks once told me that as yogis we are aligning with something that is essentially expanding. He said to align with Grace is to align with something that is always expanding. Because of this, in sadhana, there is no standing still. According to Douglas, "You are either going forward or you are collecting dust bunnies." My teacher, Lee always says, "No top end."
So to me it really is just another "keep going" kind of thing. And hopefully our practices create within us checks and balances and means by which to confront our illusions and delusions so that we can be more reliably connected to, and acting from, the wisdom of this expanding force rather than simply adhering to the script of right and wrong. (on the mat, off the mat, as a teacher, as a student, lover, friend, mate, disciple and so on.)
Okay there is obviously more to say but that is it for now.
"Most of you here have a great inspiration to do. All of you have a great inspiration to teach. But very few of you have a great inspiration to learn..." (I defintely get his point but I was thinking, "I have travelled around the world for the sake of learning... Yes, a bit defensive, I suppose! Nothing new there. But like I said, I get his point becasue no matter how good/sincere of a student I am or any of us is, there are always new depths to plump, more skill to develop, more receptivity to cultivate, new levels to explore and so on. Okay, okay, I get it. I will stop whining now.)
"So many of you say, "I must have the best teacher in the world, I must go to the very best teacher," never once considering that you yourself are not the best student in the world."
He talked a lot about how teaching and doing and learning are related to one anohter. But he very generously said that even if we are not good learners, good students or good do-ers, we might actually be able to be great teachers. He said that one who has difficulty learning or doing often makes a great teacher because such people are intimately acquainted with the ways the endeavor can go wrong. One who has natural aptitude may not actually be such a great teacher because they will not understand the pitfalls and the problems that arise in the learning process. (IT hought this was quite generous. My mom always said the best person to learn math from was someone who had a lot of trouble learning math. Mommy-ji, with the great yogic wisdom way back when!)
He also said that whether or not we formally teach classes, each of us is our own teacher in yoga and we should cultivate that learning receptivity when we practice so that our practice is a learning endeavor not just a doing, or a performance-based endeavor.
This has actually been such a nice thing about being here for so long and the way the time here is structured. Every day except Sunday we have a 2-hour class and every day we have a designated time for practice. Having the the time and space in my life to learn in a class and also to practice what was taught so soon after the class has been awesome.So often I have gone to workshops where we have 15 hours of asana instruction in 2 1/2 days and while it is a fabulous download of information and inspiration, it is very difficult to really integrate it or process it in manageable chunks. I think the workshop format also creates a mentality of "acquisition mind"- we just want more and more info, new details and new tricks and we haven't really mined the things we already know for their gold.
Not to say that I have mined these classes yet either (I actually feel that there has been a year's worth of material already and we are still in week two) but today I did the fabulous forward bend sequence that Geeta taught on Monday for the second time in practice. So I did it in class and then twice now in practice and today I began to really experience what previously had just been words or descriptions or suggestions. Anyway, it is such a treat to have a month of my life carved out where there is very little to do but focus on matters of yoga and practice (And write a blog, of course!) It is not just time either, it is mental space and the environment we are in that is helping.
As far as gems from Geeta's class, what I remember most is that she spoke about the same themes of studentship. She said that as students we only seem able to do what she is saying if we have been taught it before. If it is not familiar to us we doubt her and do not just follow what she is saying. She says that nobody seems to understand the reasons behind the forms of Iyengar Yoga. and that Iyengar Yoga has just become, "everybody get a block, a strap and and a bloster" rather than teachers and students really understanding that the props are used for specific reasons for specific people and are not intended to yield a one-size fits all approach.(I am paraphrasing here.)
So it is kind of interesting as I am kind of an Iyengar Yoga imposter here and not really a true-believer although I have maintained Anusara Yoga anonymity and plan to) so I am not taking alot of that stuff personally. But really, I do know a fair amount about the Iyengar Yoga certification process and what is asked of the applicants. Also I am involved in a process of certifying people in Anusara Yoga and also in the YogaYoga teacher training program and the parallels and pitfalls are there in any system. It seems within this school that "the method" is running the risk of squashing the spirit of the tradition. (Kind of like that bumper sticker, Lord, save me from your followers.)
I don't really know that there is a real solution outside of a Real Solution, meaning that people must embody the teachings and have something Real to share or teaching yoga (in any tradition) will forever remain a scripted or parroted kind of thing. (She was complaining that everyone teaches Iyenagar Yoga like there is a script when nothing is further from the truth. I laughed thinking how as a teacher traniner I give a script all the time and how John gave me a script to learn with and how Iyengar teachers I studied also gave a script in teacher training!) But let's be very clear also that I mean no disrespect to this great tradition and its many talented teachers from whom I have learned a lot, in pondering these themes here. I mean, when BKS Iyengar is the bar of excellence, sure, most people efforts won't measure up. I think we all have teachers in a variety of disciplines that we feel that way about.(And incidently, the scripts really helped me!)
Teaching yoga is really a fabulously daunting task of representing something much bigger than we are and pointing people to It. So I wonder if, instead of asking are we as good as the master, can we ask, is there is a movement in my practice, in my teaching and in my students toward the spirit of the tradition? Is my teaching pointing people to the practice, to the source of the lineage I represent, to the Truth within themselves? And given that that is even harder than handing out apporpriate props and making adjustments, I wonder if we could be doing well and still not be doing well enough? Quite probably.
Philosophy professor Douglas Brooks once told me that as yogis we are aligning with something that is essentially expanding. He said to align with Grace is to align with something that is always expanding. Because of this, in sadhana, there is no standing still. According to Douglas, "You are either going forward or you are collecting dust bunnies." My teacher, Lee always says, "No top end."
So to me it really is just another "keep going" kind of thing. And hopefully our practices create within us checks and balances and means by which to confront our illusions and delusions so that we can be more reliably connected to, and acting from, the wisdom of this expanding force rather than simply adhering to the script of right and wrong. (on the mat, off the mat, as a teacher, as a student, lover, friend, mate, disciple and so on.)
Okay there is obviously more to say but that is it for now.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
like e.e.cummings
i am writing without capital letters because the shift key on this computer sticks and so i cannot punctuate appropriately. many apologies.
last night we had class with prashant which was a back bending class like no other i have ever been in. i am not really even sure of what to say about other than it was pretty brutal. i think there is pretty much an unspoken rule here at the institute that you are supposed to say that every class was great and brilliant and so forth. anyway, i broke the rule when dean lerner came up to me after class and said, "that was so fun, wasn't it?"
i said, "not for me."
he said, "didn't you think those were fun poses?"
"he poses were fine but i really didn't feel prepared or open at all and so it was just excruciating."
dean asked me, "in what ways did you feel unprepared or not open?"
"my legs, my inner body was tight, my back was tight, my shoulders were not open, i couldn't get any freedom in my chest- just in general the whole preparation was so different from how i normally prepare for those bends that perhaps it was psychological but really, it was not fun at all for me."
anyway, it went on in a reasonably friendly manner but let me give you an idea of the sequence and so those of you who know the Sanskrit names can imagine whether or not you would have felt prepared for the practice.
10 minute of setu bandhasana with the hips elevated on a block.
10-15 minutes of dwi pada viparita dandasana over a chair with some variations.
5 minutes of work on the ropes
5 minutes of standing back arches in the middle of the room
8 minutes of drop backs to urdhva danurasana
kapotasana- holding for like 3 minutes
urdhva mukha svanasana- about 6 times
urdhva danurasana, 2 times, 2 minutes at least each time
more drop backs and standing back arches
eka pada raja kapotasana, 2 times each side, long holds
halasana
actually it does not sound as bad in witting as it did in the experience of it. i was very happy this morning when i could walk and my back didn't hurt. not being crippled was really fortunate because this morning we walked into class with geeta this morning for more back bends! these went much better for me today and i actually did have some fun in the midst of some very hard work. but the sequence she gave opened me a bit better. but the weird thing is that it is technically, a forward bending week here at the institute. they teach standing poses the first week of the month, forward bends the second week-theoretically-,back bends the third week and pranayama the fourth week. i think some of my block last night was mental as i was not in a back bending frame of mind. so i do think some of it was a lesson in expectation and how i was not joined in "body, mind and breath" as prashant would say! (not by a long shot, in fact.)
anyway there were some good jewels of wisdom in both classes and some excellent points to incorporate and things to ponder. i will try to do that tomorrow. now it is time to practice.
last night we had class with prashant which was a back bending class like no other i have ever been in. i am not really even sure of what to say about other than it was pretty brutal. i think there is pretty much an unspoken rule here at the institute that you are supposed to say that every class was great and brilliant and so forth. anyway, i broke the rule when dean lerner came up to me after class and said, "that was so fun, wasn't it?"
i said, "not for me."
he said, "didn't you think those were fun poses?"
"he poses were fine but i really didn't feel prepared or open at all and so it was just excruciating."
dean asked me, "in what ways did you feel unprepared or not open?"
"my legs, my inner body was tight, my back was tight, my shoulders were not open, i couldn't get any freedom in my chest- just in general the whole preparation was so different from how i normally prepare for those bends that perhaps it was psychological but really, it was not fun at all for me."
anyway, it went on in a reasonably friendly manner but let me give you an idea of the sequence and so those of you who know the Sanskrit names can imagine whether or not you would have felt prepared for the practice.
10 minute of setu bandhasana with the hips elevated on a block.
10-15 minutes of dwi pada viparita dandasana over a chair with some variations.
5 minutes of work on the ropes
5 minutes of standing back arches in the middle of the room
8 minutes of drop backs to urdhva danurasana
kapotasana- holding for like 3 minutes
urdhva mukha svanasana- about 6 times
urdhva danurasana, 2 times, 2 minutes at least each time
more drop backs and standing back arches
eka pada raja kapotasana, 2 times each side, long holds
halasana
actually it does not sound as bad in witting as it did in the experience of it. i was very happy this morning when i could walk and my back didn't hurt. not being crippled was really fortunate because this morning we walked into class with geeta this morning for more back bends! these went much better for me today and i actually did have some fun in the midst of some very hard work. but the sequence she gave opened me a bit better. but the weird thing is that it is technically, a forward bending week here at the institute. they teach standing poses the first week of the month, forward bends the second week-theoretically-,back bends the third week and pranayama the fourth week. i think some of my block last night was mental as i was not in a back bending frame of mind. so i do think some of it was a lesson in expectation and how i was not joined in "body, mind and breath" as prashant would say! (not by a long shot, in fact.)
anyway there were some good jewels of wisdom in both classes and some excellent points to incorporate and things to ponder. i will try to do that tomorrow. now it is time to practice.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
We are taking pictures here. (Albeit with a very basic digital camera - you know one with only a few pixels and a huge delay-and so I haven't taken anything very artistic or particularly noteworthy at this point.) For instance yesterday there was this very large procession on Ferguson College Road. I thought i would take a picture of this decorated cart that was being pulled by these very stately oxen that was across the road. So even though I snapped the picture while the cart was in plain sight, the picture that I actually took has a bus in front of the cart. Oh well. (Maybe it is actually an artistic statement...Like how cars and technology are always coming in front of spirituality...) Anyhoo---
Later yesterday evening I went to make phone call at a nearby shop. The shop owner speaks very good English and was is very friendly, so I asked him about the parade and events that were going on yesterday. (The reason we even saw the festivities was because we walked down Fergusson College Road to the Reliance Phone Company to buy a phone card that I could use on the phone in our flat to call Kelly. The streets were all sectioned off, there was a big parade and there were booths blaring music and talks and big pictures of people who were either gurus or political leaders (we couldn't tell which), and lots of people decked out in religious-looking finery.
On a side note, I got to the store, managed to communicate what I wanted and then the clerk said I will have to come back tomorrow. I am thinking, Listen buddy, you do not know what I went through to come here today. I say, "Why can't I get this today?" Evidently the computers were down and so they couldn't do it. I was pretty bummed.
So we went next door to console ourselves with a snack at the Coffee Day cafe. It is kind of like a Starbucks, but then again, not really at all. I think Barista is actually the Indian Starbucks and Coffee Day, I am told, is kind of a step below that. One of our guidebooks about India said that one's need for privacy is to be abandoned here. It is just not their way. And the principle seems to apply across the board. There are crowds everywhere, the walls are thin, there is not really enough of anything to go around so there is a lot of sharing and so on. But is is particularly evident in the customer service domains. In America we kind of shop in private, decide and ponder in privacy, and then go make a purchase. It is just not like that here. Everything is set up so that the entire shopping process depends on at least two other people. Even at the smaller convenience stores you have to ask for what you want and they tell you whether or not they have it. It is hard for me to get used to.
So at Coffee Day we walked in and proceeded to the counter where we were then scolded, ushered to a seat, given a menu and then walked through the ordering process. While we were waiting I got to thinking that maybe some cookies would be good. So I walk over to the display counter to look at the cookie options where I am immediately told to go sit down and he would come show me the cookies! Anyway, after a very long wait, some very mediocre cookies, Anne enjoyed a yummy coffee frappe thing and I had some tea.
Which takes me back to my phone call at the very nice Indian man's shop. Although I do not know his name I do know that he is a Hindu, married a Muslim woman in a love marriage, not an arranged marriage, he has a daughter who is sixteen (very pretty, I saw the picture...She has her mother's mouth and eyes and coloring (I saw the mothers picture also) but she is tall like him, which he says will make the match very hard to make but probably by the time she is getting married he will not be allowed to interfere as such is the way these days even though he had a love marriage and is now a divorced person.) Also his mother is coming to visit him from Mumbai.
I asked him about the festivities on the street that we had seen. He said that it is a 300km procession across the region where some God (he told me the name but it did not ring a bell- he also told me the Hindu religion has 36,000 gods and he also finds it hard to keep them all straight) is processed across the region from city to city and each town has these festivals and people come to worship as a pilgrimage.
We had class with Geeta last night. The sequence was nothing short of brilliant. (And for those of you reading who are my students, I have lots to offer you to help open the groins So that is something you can look forward to! Some really grueling stuff, in fact. YOU WILL LOVE IT.) What was kind of neat was that right before class I was telling Anne that I felt like my S.I. joint was kind of out and that I was really feeling a tightness in my low back. The class was actually a made-to-order class- all about releasing and making space in the sacrum, lengthening the low back and opening the groins. Quite fabulous in that agony and ecstasy way that yoga can be.
Class with Prashant tonight. We practiced last night's sequence this morning, ate lunch (very yummy cauliflower) and then I fell asleep on the couch since it is my couch day. (I will have to explain "couch day" in a future post. I am running out of time.)
Later yesterday evening I went to make phone call at a nearby shop. The shop owner speaks very good English and was is very friendly, so I asked him about the parade and events that were going on yesterday. (The reason we even saw the festivities was because we walked down Fergusson College Road to the Reliance Phone Company to buy a phone card that I could use on the phone in our flat to call Kelly. The streets were all sectioned off, there was a big parade and there were booths blaring music and talks and big pictures of people who were either gurus or political leaders (we couldn't tell which), and lots of people decked out in religious-looking finery.
On a side note, I got to the store, managed to communicate what I wanted and then the clerk said I will have to come back tomorrow. I am thinking, Listen buddy, you do not know what I went through to come here today. I say, "Why can't I get this today?" Evidently the computers were down and so they couldn't do it. I was pretty bummed.
So we went next door to console ourselves with a snack at the Coffee Day cafe. It is kind of like a Starbucks, but then again, not really at all. I think Barista is actually the Indian Starbucks and Coffee Day, I am told, is kind of a step below that. One of our guidebooks about India said that one's need for privacy is to be abandoned here. It is just not their way. And the principle seems to apply across the board. There are crowds everywhere, the walls are thin, there is not really enough of anything to go around so there is a lot of sharing and so on. But is is particularly evident in the customer service domains. In America we kind of shop in private, decide and ponder in privacy, and then go make a purchase. It is just not like that here. Everything is set up so that the entire shopping process depends on at least two other people. Even at the smaller convenience stores you have to ask for what you want and they tell you whether or not they have it. It is hard for me to get used to.
So at Coffee Day we walked in and proceeded to the counter where we were then scolded, ushered to a seat, given a menu and then walked through the ordering process. While we were waiting I got to thinking that maybe some cookies would be good. So I walk over to the display counter to look at the cookie options where I am immediately told to go sit down and he would come show me the cookies! Anyway, after a very long wait, some very mediocre cookies, Anne enjoyed a yummy coffee frappe thing and I had some tea.
Which takes me back to my phone call at the very nice Indian man's shop. Although I do not know his name I do know that he is a Hindu, married a Muslim woman in a love marriage, not an arranged marriage, he has a daughter who is sixteen (very pretty, I saw the picture...She has her mother's mouth and eyes and coloring (I saw the mothers picture also) but she is tall like him, which he says will make the match very hard to make but probably by the time she is getting married he will not be allowed to interfere as such is the way these days even though he had a love marriage and is now a divorced person.) Also his mother is coming to visit him from Mumbai.
I asked him about the festivities on the street that we had seen. He said that it is a 300km procession across the region where some God (he told me the name but it did not ring a bell- he also told me the Hindu religion has 36,000 gods and he also finds it hard to keep them all straight) is processed across the region from city to city and each town has these festivals and people come to worship as a pilgrimage.
We had class with Geeta last night. The sequence was nothing short of brilliant. (And for those of you reading who are my students, I have lots to offer you to help open the groins So that is something you can look forward to! Some really grueling stuff, in fact. YOU WILL LOVE IT.) What was kind of neat was that right before class I was telling Anne that I felt like my S.I. joint was kind of out and that I was really feeling a tightness in my low back. The class was actually a made-to-order class- all about releasing and making space in the sacrum, lengthening the low back and opening the groins. Quite fabulous in that agony and ecstasy way that yoga can be.
Class with Prashant tonight. We practiced last night's sequence this morning, ate lunch (very yummy cauliflower) and then I fell asleep on the couch since it is my couch day. (I will have to explain "couch day" in a future post. I am running out of time.)
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Ari- My Dad is pretty fabulous. In addition to instilling in me a love for communication, both verbal and written, and the delights of great food and drink in good company, my Dad was my very early role model for self-inquiry. He gave me my first journal when I was around 9 years old (It was one of those old-school black and white compostion-style notebooks.) and told me that it was a place I could say anything I wanted. (Which perhaps in retrospect meant that the dinner table was not a place where I could say anything I wanted!! Hmm... funny I never got that until now...but anyway, I still keep a journal to this day.) At one time he was involved in a Jungian group and he always been committed to and rooted in his faith. (Another great lesson from Dad.) You and Lisa McClear might both like to know that he looks a lot like Jean Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart). You, because of the crush, Lisa because she and I are both Trekkies.)
Particularly important lessons from Dad-
1. From Romans- "There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ." (And on a side note, he would tell me this frequently when, as a teenager, I did not feel so lovable and was doing my very best to prove that I could indeed separate myself from Love in all forms.)
2. "You can act your way into a new way of thinking easier than you can think yourself into a new way of acting." Direct quote.
3. Follow your Bliss but be sure you know what it is.
4. Something can be True and not accurate; understand the difference.
5. Love your mate with your whole heart. (He never said this to me but he definitely lives this.He and my mom have been married for 47 years and they still crack each other up.Now that is inspiring.)
6.Refuse the glass ceiling.
7. Do not talk down to children. Speak to them like the intelligent people they are.
There is probably more but that is it off the top of my head.
Anne and I went shopping today which was a lot of fun. I think she is writing about it now so check out her blog. More on the yoga tomorow. We had the day off from The Institute today.
Particularly important lessons from Dad-
1. From Romans- "There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ." (And on a side note, he would tell me this frequently when, as a teenager, I did not feel so lovable and was doing my very best to prove that I could indeed separate myself from Love in all forms.)
2. "You can act your way into a new way of thinking easier than you can think yourself into a new way of acting." Direct quote.
3. Follow your Bliss but be sure you know what it is.
4. Something can be True and not accurate; understand the difference.
5. Love your mate with your whole heart. (He never said this to me but he definitely lives this.He and my mom have been married for 47 years and they still crack each other up.Now that is inspiring.)
6.Refuse the glass ceiling.
7. Do not talk down to children. Speak to them like the intelligent people they are.
There is probably more but that is it off the top of my head.
Anne and I went shopping today which was a lot of fun. I think she is writing about it now so check out her blog. More on the yoga tomorow. We had the day off from The Institute today.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
We had class last night and this morning with Geeta. She is just such an amazing teacher.
Since people so graciously commented on my last entry about "vicarious" learning and so on, I have yet another lesson to share. This morning in class we were on the floor in supta baddha konasana. (Yes, Jessie, I know, you are going to be expecting a lot more lying down in addition to the increased time devoted to savasana and its many variations!) So we are lying down with the soles of our feet together and our knees bent out to the sides and Geeta says to turn the inner groins from the inside out. I grab my outer thighs to try to turn my thighs more outward. I am also looking around at the people next to me to see if I am doing it right and before I know it she is looming over me. "How are you going to find your inner thighs by looking at someone else? Do you not know where your inner thighs are?" She grabs a hold of her inner thighs and say, "These are the inner thighs. Didn't I say to grab your inner thighs and turn them out? Your thighs-grab them and turn. Don't look around at others for your answers! Do what I say. If your teacher has not showed you something then you do not know. You only know what you have been taught. You must listen and do as I say."
And, not surprisingly, the way she meant for the action to be done was a lot more effective than what I was doing! (And, incidentally, the person I was looking at was doing it wrong also) So the seemingly simple asana lesson, when taken off the mat translates into a lesson about self-confidence, self-trust and looking within for answers, and a lesson as well about how to improve my studentship, my adhikara, all of which is more intersting and useful than simply "how to deepen a stretch".
I love that about yoga. Truly, it is a revelatory process. If I pay attention- not just to what I do but to what I fail to do and even the way I do and fail to do, I can leanr so much about myself and the ways I can grow.
Another gem from this morning's class. Geeta adjusted a woman's shoulders and then came back around and she had "lost the adjustment".
Geeta: "Why are your shoulders lifting?"
Woman: "I didn't realize what happened."
.
Since people so graciously commented on my last entry about "vicarious" learning and so on, I have yet another lesson to share. This morning in class we were on the floor in supta baddha konasana. (Yes, Jessie, I know, you are going to be expecting a lot more lying down in addition to the increased time devoted to savasana and its many variations!) So we are lying down with the soles of our feet together and our knees bent out to the sides and Geeta says to turn the inner groins from the inside out. I grab my outer thighs to try to turn my thighs more outward. I am also looking around at the people next to me to see if I am doing it right and before I know it she is looming over me. "How are you going to find your inner thighs by looking at someone else? Do you not know where your inner thighs are?" She grabs a hold of her inner thighs and say, "These are the inner thighs. Didn't I say to grab your inner thighs and turn them out? Your thighs-grab them and turn. Don't look around at others for your answers! Do what I say. If your teacher has not showed you something then you do not know. You only know what you have been taught. You must listen and do as I say."
And, not surprisingly, the way she meant for the action to be done was a lot more effective than what I was doing! (And, incidentally, the person I was looking at was doing it wrong also) So the seemingly simple asana lesson, when taken off the mat translates into a lesson about self-confidence, self-trust and looking within for answers, and a lesson as well about how to improve my studentship, my adhikara, all of which is more intersting and useful than simply "how to deepen a stretch".
I love that about yoga. Truly, it is a revelatory process. If I pay attention- not just to what I do but to what I fail to do and even the way I do and fail to do, I can leanr so much about myself and the ways I can grow.
Another gem from this morning's class. Geeta adjusted a woman's shoulders and then came back around and she had "lost the adjustment".
Geeta: "Why are your shoulders lifting?"
Woman: "I didn't realize what happened."
Geeta: "I know that. I am making you to realize. This is self-realization after all. I am making you to realize what you are doing."
.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Pranayama with Geeta
We had our first pranayama class with Geeta last night which was remarkable in so many ways. It was crowded- maybe 75 or more people in the room. (Those of you who are reading this who practice in Austin, imagine a room 2/3 the size of the big room at Westgate with 75 or more people in it.) One of the first things we did was savasana to prepare for the pranayama. As Geeta talked and worked with our posture she made a particular note of how the thighs need to release. She even gave instructions for the Westerners in the room and their tendencies and the Indians in the room and their tendencies.
Then we sat up for seated ujayi pranayama. as we were all getting settled into your posture and set-ups with the requisite props, she zeroed in on one woman's posture and asked her, "Do you always sit that way for pranayama?"
Silence.
Geeta: Do you?
More silence.
Geeta: Answer me.
Woman: Yes.
Geeta: Who taught you to sit that way? Is that really how you sit?
Woman: Yes, it is comfortable as long as I support my thighs.
Geeta calls the woman up to the stage to demonstrate how she was sitting. The woman assumes her posture on the stage. (She was pretty slumped, certainly by pranayama standards, and her legs were crossed mid -shin with her knees up about as high as her lower rib cage.)
Geeta then launched into a teaching about how comfort has very little to do with seated pranayama. "What does comfort have to do with it? See how I am sitting now? I am sitting this way because it is comfortable for my legs which are paining me lately. No matter what I am doing my legs are paining me so when I conduct classes such as this I am sitting in this position for my comfort. But even when my legs are bad I do not sit like this for pranayama." She motions to the room, "Many of you have been watching me take my pranayama in a chair for the last few months- that is because my legs are not well."
She has someone bring her a chair and she instructs the woman on the stage how to sit in the chair and the effect on her posture is immediate. Then she modifies the chair posture even further and her position improves even more. Geeta then has the woman resume her previous position on the floor. The contrast is unmistakable. Point made- we all got it. (Personally I am so grateful for the teaching and the dignity with which the woman manged herself throughout the episode and gave us an opportunity to learn from her.)
She tells us, "You must understand this as compassion in action. As a teacher it is my duty to address these faults when I see them. I know by looking at this woman she is not experiencing the beauty of pranayama. She does it because she is supposed to and because people tell her to but it alludes her. I must help her. ..." At this point it was almost as if she just started picking up speed. She said,"This is what I was talking about with the legs back in savasana. Where is that man by the column. Let me see him. " (She show the way the Indian man's legs look in savasana and adjusts him. And then,"Where is that other woman by the other column? Let me see her." This is a western woman and she shows us the differences in her legs as compared to the Indian and how to adjust so that the legs and the groins and therefore the nerves can settle.
At this point, it is obvious and somewhat palpable in the room- she has seen everyone in the room and even though 75 people were packed into the hall and there was a feeling of invisibility in that, each of us was seen.There is no where to hide when she is teaching. And as she adjusts the woman she says, "If I keep going I will make her cry. Just like the first woman who started to cry when she had to return to her original posture. And none of you have an answer about why she would cry. She kept herself together but the tears came. Did you not see? Answer me, why would she cry? None of you have an answer, do you? (At this point I feel like crying and I do not have an answer for that either!) The tears come because you taste freedom. What do you suppose it is like to be in a prison for so long and then to suddenly be released, to experience freedom and then be told you must return to the prison? Would that not make you cry? And that is why the tears came when I told her to go back to her first posture. After you feel what your ribs can do, when you feel what your diaphragm is capable of, when you feel your groins release, you know a freedom. Is is not your duty to look for that when you practice?"
I am blown away. I think we all were. The compassion and understanding she is offering in her teaching is tangible. There is not a doubt in my mind that she understands the difficulties of what she is asking of us as practitioners and students, not one doubt that she can look right through me, but not one doubt in my mind that she has the highest Possibility in mind for each of us. I kept thinking that her willingness to face herself and her situation squarely must give her this kind of vision and clarity.
Anyway- she actually suggested the chair modification to me later in the class and it really helped me. (Shock of all shocks, my groins are tight! She said to me, "You are tight in this." I nod. She continues,"I did not ask you, I am telling you. You agree?" I nod again and say, "Yes, definitely." She says, "So use more height and if that does not do it use the chair."
And so I tried more height and it helped but then I started thinking, "Did this really "do it". I have a vision of her coming back over saying to me, "You think that this is it??? You fool! Who taught you to think this way? Everyone come look....) Anyway, I got the chair and I must say it was the first time my groins have ever felt soft in seated pranayama. Ever.
Of course there is more to say as always but enough said for now.
Then we sat up for seated ujayi pranayama. as we were all getting settled into your posture and set-ups with the requisite props, she zeroed in on one woman's posture and asked her, "Do you always sit that way for pranayama?"
Silence.
Geeta: Do you?
More silence.
Geeta: Answer me.
Woman: Yes.
Geeta: Who taught you to sit that way? Is that really how you sit?
Woman: Yes, it is comfortable as long as I support my thighs.
Geeta calls the woman up to the stage to demonstrate how she was sitting. The woman assumes her posture on the stage. (She was pretty slumped, certainly by pranayama standards, and her legs were crossed mid -shin with her knees up about as high as her lower rib cage.)
Geeta then launched into a teaching about how comfort has very little to do with seated pranayama. "What does comfort have to do with it? See how I am sitting now? I am sitting this way because it is comfortable for my legs which are paining me lately. No matter what I am doing my legs are paining me so when I conduct classes such as this I am sitting in this position for my comfort. But even when my legs are bad I do not sit like this for pranayama." She motions to the room, "Many of you have been watching me take my pranayama in a chair for the last few months- that is because my legs are not well."
She has someone bring her a chair and she instructs the woman on the stage how to sit in the chair and the effect on her posture is immediate. Then she modifies the chair posture even further and her position improves even more. Geeta then has the woman resume her previous position on the floor. The contrast is unmistakable. Point made- we all got it. (Personally I am so grateful for the teaching and the dignity with which the woman manged herself throughout the episode and gave us an opportunity to learn from her.)
She tells us, "You must understand this as compassion in action. As a teacher it is my duty to address these faults when I see them. I know by looking at this woman she is not experiencing the beauty of pranayama. She does it because she is supposed to and because people tell her to but it alludes her. I must help her. ..." At this point it was almost as if she just started picking up speed. She said,"This is what I was talking about with the legs back in savasana. Where is that man by the column. Let me see him. " (She show the way the Indian man's legs look in savasana and adjusts him. And then,"Where is that other woman by the other column? Let me see her." This is a western woman and she shows us the differences in her legs as compared to the Indian and how to adjust so that the legs and the groins and therefore the nerves can settle.
At this point, it is obvious and somewhat palpable in the room- she has seen everyone in the room and even though 75 people were packed into the hall and there was a feeling of invisibility in that, each of us was seen.There is no where to hide when she is teaching. And as she adjusts the woman she says, "If I keep going I will make her cry. Just like the first woman who started to cry when she had to return to her original posture. And none of you have an answer about why she would cry. She kept herself together but the tears came. Did you not see? Answer me, why would she cry? None of you have an answer, do you? (At this point I feel like crying and I do not have an answer for that either!) The tears come because you taste freedom. What do you suppose it is like to be in a prison for so long and then to suddenly be released, to experience freedom and then be told you must return to the prison? Would that not make you cry? And that is why the tears came when I told her to go back to her first posture. After you feel what your ribs can do, when you feel what your diaphragm is capable of, when you feel your groins release, you know a freedom. Is is not your duty to look for that when you practice?"
I am blown away. I think we all were. The compassion and understanding she is offering in her teaching is tangible. There is not a doubt in my mind that she understands the difficulties of what she is asking of us as practitioners and students, not one doubt that she can look right through me, but not one doubt in my mind that she has the highest Possibility in mind for each of us. I kept thinking that her willingness to face herself and her situation squarely must give her this kind of vision and clarity.
Anyway- she actually suggested the chair modification to me later in the class and it really helped me. (Shock of all shocks, my groins are tight! She said to me, "You are tight in this." I nod. She continues,"I did not ask you, I am telling you. You agree?" I nod again and say, "Yes, definitely." She says, "So use more height and if that does not do it use the chair."
And so I tried more height and it helped but then I started thinking, "Did this really "do it". I have a vision of her coming back over saying to me, "You think that this is it??? You fool! Who taught you to think this way? Everyone come look....) Anyway, I got the chair and I must say it was the first time my groins have ever felt soft in seated pranayama. Ever.
Of course there is more to say as always but enough said for now.
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