Studentship

Things to consider from Prashant's Tuesday night class:

"Most of you here have a great inspiration to do. All of you have a great inspiration to teach. But very few of you have a great inspiration to learn..." (I defintely get his point but I was thinking, "I have travelled around the world for the sake of learning... Yes, a bit defensive, I suppose! Nothing new there. But like I said, I get his point becasue no matter how good/sincere of a student I am or any of us is, there are always new depths to plump, more skill to develop, more receptivity to cultivate, new levels to explore and so on. Okay, okay, I get it. I will stop whining now.)

"So many of you say, "I must have the best teacher in the world, I must go to the very best teacher," never once considering that you yourself are not the best student in the world."

He talked a lot about how teaching and doing and learning are related to one anohter. But he very generously said that even if we are not good learners, good students or good do-ers, we might actually be able to be great teachers. He said that one who has difficulty learning or doing often makes a great teacher because such people are intimately acquainted with the ways the endeavor can go wrong. One who has natural aptitude may not actually be such a great teacher because they will not understand the pitfalls and the problems that arise in the learning process. (IT hought this was quite generous. My mom always said the best person to learn math from was someone who had a lot of trouble learning math. Mommy-ji, with the great yogic wisdom way back when!)

He also said that whether or not we formally teach classes, each of us is our own teacher in yoga and we should cultivate that learning receptivity when we practice so that our practice is a learning endeavor not just a doing, or a performance-based endeavor.

This has actually been such a nice thing about being here for so long and the way the time here is structured. Every day except Sunday we have a 2-hour class and every day we have a designated time for practice. Having the the time and space in my life to learn in a class and also to practice what was taught so soon after the class has been awesome.So often I have gone to workshops where we have 15 hours of asana instruction in 2 1/2 days and while it is a fabulous download of information and inspiration, it is very difficult to really integrate it or process it in manageable chunks. I think the workshop format also creates a mentality of "acquisition mind"- we just want more and more info, new details and new tricks and we haven't really mined the things we already know for their gold.

Not to say that I have mined these classes yet either (I actually feel that there has been a year's worth of material already and we are still in week two) but today I did the fabulous forward bend sequence that Geeta taught on Monday for the second time in practice. So I did it in class and then twice now in practice and today I began to really experience what previously had just been words or descriptions or suggestions. Anyway, it is such a treat to have a month of my life carved out where there is very little to do but focus on matters of yoga and practice (And write a blog, of course!) It is not just time either, it is mental space and the environment we are in that is helping.

As far as gems from Geeta's class, what I remember most is that she spoke about the same themes of studentship. She said that as students we only seem able to do what she is saying if we have been taught it before. If it is not familiar to us we doubt her and do not just follow what she is saying. She says that nobody seems to understand the reasons behind the forms of Iyengar Yoga. and that Iyengar Yoga has just become, "everybody get a block, a strap and and a bloster" rather than teachers and students really understanding that the props are used for specific reasons for specific people and are not intended to yield a one-size fits all approach.(I am paraphrasing here.)

So it is kind of interesting as I am kind of an Iyengar Yoga imposter here and not really a true-believer although I have maintained Anusara Yoga anonymity and plan to) so I am not taking alot of that stuff personally. But really, I do know a fair amount about the Iyengar Yoga certification process and what is asked of the applicants. Also I am involved in a process of certifying people in Anusara Yoga and also in the YogaYoga teacher training program and the parallels and pitfalls are there in any system. It seems within this school that "the method" is running the risk of squashing the spirit of the tradition. (Kind of like that bumper sticker, Lord, save me from your followers.)

I don't really know that there is a real solution outside of a Real Solution, meaning that people must embody the teachings and have something Real to share or teaching yoga (in any tradition) will forever remain a scripted or parroted kind of thing. (She was complaining that everyone teaches Iyenagar Yoga like there is a script when nothing is further from the truth. I laughed thinking how as a teacher traniner I give a script all the time and how John gave me a script to learn with and how Iyengar teachers I studied also gave a script in teacher training!) But let's be very clear also that I mean no disrespect to this great tradition and its many talented teachers from whom I have learned a lot, in pondering these themes here. I mean, when BKS Iyengar is the bar of excellence, sure, most people efforts won't measure up. I think we all have teachers in a variety of disciplines that we feel that way about.(And incidently, the scripts really helped me!)

Teaching yoga is really a fabulously daunting task of representing something much bigger than we are and pointing people to It. So I wonder if, instead of asking are we as good as the master, can we ask, is there is a movement in my practice, in my teaching and in my students toward the spirit of the tradition? Is my teaching pointing people to the practice, to the source of the lineage I represent, to the Truth within themselves? And given that that is even harder than handing out apporpriate props and making adjustments, I wonder if we could be doing well and still not be doing well enough? Quite probably.

Philosophy professor Douglas Brooks once told me that as yogis we are aligning with something that is essentially expanding. He said to align with Grace is to align with something that is always expanding. Because of this, in sadhana, there is no standing still. According to Douglas, "You are either going forward or you are collecting dust bunnies." My teacher, Lee always says, "No top end."

So to me it really is just another "keep going" kind of thing. And hopefully our practices create within us checks and balances and means by which to confront our illusions and delusions so that we can be more reliably connected to, and acting from, the wisdom of this expanding force rather than simply adhering to the script of right and wrong. (on the mat, off the mat, as a teacher, as a student, lover, friend, mate, disciple and so on.)

Okay there is obviously more to say but that is it for now.